we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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