i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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