dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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