Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You need a sexual gate keeper
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
