I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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