i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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