She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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