I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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