True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
