.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
