My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize