I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
