I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
