YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
