I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
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When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
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I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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