I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize