Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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