You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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