my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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