I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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