Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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