I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
