so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
