i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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