Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
