mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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