I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
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