I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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