Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
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It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
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Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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