never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
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