let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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