I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
