I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Ladies don't puke and tell
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
