I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
And then he peed in my hair
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