Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
