Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
