it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
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