I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
