the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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