i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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