we have officially lost it.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
