What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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