I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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