Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
