the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
