you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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