I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i love accidental penises.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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