Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Even my vagina gasped.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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