I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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