Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
