Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize