THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
you made out with another girl for some wings
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