If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
