is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
