i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm too high and old for this...
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
