You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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