oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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